Last week was really tough, and I owe the Preeclampsia Foundation another $10.
"Trust the universe" was certainly a meaningful mantra for the week as we endured a disheartening consultation with a new OB, some serious stress with Bri's job, and then a really awful stomach flu that tore through the whole family by the end of the week, leaving Bri and I to literally tag team between parenting the bathroom. It was the kind of week that tests every bit of patience and faith that you have. By Friday morning, just a couple hours before I realized I had caught the nasty bug that G brought home, we had such a frustrating, nearly impossible transition to daycare and I was super late to work, and I just lost it and yelled at him. Sick, stressed, spontaneous, headstrong mom + spirited, slow-to-adapt, intense, headstrong child = FAIL. Keep calm and carry on... I was able to do that a LOT this week in some really testing times, but I just lost it that morning and did not keep calm.
This commercial actually popped into my head on Friday morning.. Remember this?
Where does that leave me for this week? Still feeling pretty yUcK. Still needing to tap into some real strength and faith. Still lots of dangling issues from last week.
Many of you know that I really like the book, A New Earth. I've studied it off and on ever since my experience with HELLP, and it really resonates with my spirituality and general life philosophy. It's simple and profound at the same time. It just speaks to me. When I'm knee-deep in reading the book or watching videos I feel peaceful and centered. I am able to be aware and present more often and more quickly. As evidenced by Friday's low point, I can sometimes allow myself to be sucked into a pit of negative thinking when multiple stressors stack up. I was reading A New Earth yesterday and this passage was especially meaningful:
"Resistance is an inner contraction... You are closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance (which we could also call negativity) will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side; life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence, the unconditioned consciousness which in a state of inner openness you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen. If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God."
I have lived this way, and know this to be true, which makes it especially frustrating when I am living with resistance, with negativity. (Mom, I hear your voice in my head right now... ) So...
Week 14
Mantra | Open Yourself to the Universe
Action | Work through Moments of Resistance & Negativity
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