I haven't blogged for the past two weeks. I have gone deep within myself and posting felt too public for what I was experiencing.
Two weeks ago we received ecstatically joyous news, followed quickly by devastating news.
I am pregnant! I am 6 weeks along, due in mid-May, and very excited!
Just as we were settling into our joy and astonishment at having actually conceived the moment we decided to go for it, we got the heart-wrenching news that Brian's best friend in the world has cancer. He is okay. But the news shocked us, and triggered some deep fears.
For the past two weeks I have been acutely aware of the connection between life and death. It was in my last pregnancy, at the end, when I developed HELLP Syndrome, that I was the closest I've ever been to the connection between the two. And now I am there again, in part because of the life growing inside of me, in part because of the death that I averted last time, and in part because of our friend's cancer diagnosis. He's not going to die, already had surgery, and will start chemo and/or radiation very soon. He's going to be fine.
But all of this life and death stuff leads me to think about love, which, to me, is the only thing that really matters. Just as I was thinking about love, how I love, the people I love.. I read an article in Whole Living in which the author asked her family to tell her how she can love them better. I decided to do the same thing to mixed results. First of all, it's kind of an awkward question. And secondly, I'm pretty close with my family and they all sort of responded like I was being ridiculous. In any case, I pledge to do everything from shipping off 4 bottles of lemon ginger echinacea juice to our friends' house in the mountains to "cherishing family harmony," whatever that means. ;)
Week 38
Mantra | Love Better
Action | Actually ask what you can do to love better
1 comment:
Whoah! A very exciting and poignant posting... best of luck to Brian's friend with the treatments and congrats on the pregnancy!
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