The house is quiet. It's never quiet like this. I had the luxury of going to the gym this afternoon and Brian and Gavin both took late naps and are still asleep! The "shoulds" are running through my mind like a scrolling sign, but I really don't want to clean or fold laundry or work on business stuff. You'd think I'd be well-rested after my action plan for last week, but I had a really hard time actually going to sleep that early. I tossed and turned every night this week. :( Which makes me think I need to take my own advice, the advice I give all of my clients, and do some daily breathing exercises to relax.
...
And then Gavin woke up. Where was I? Oh yah. Breathing exercises.
Here's a simple one that I like a lot. Place one hand on your chest and the other hand on your belly. Close your eyes and just breathe for a minute. Notice which hand is moving more. If the hand on your chest is moving more, you are chest-breathing, which is not a full breath. It suggests anxiety and/or stress. If the hand on your belly is moving more, you are taking full belly breaths, meaning that you are more relaxed. This is a nice check-in, or you can do it for longer than a minute and meditate.
I attended a mindfulness training last fall where I learned that you can actually change your brain through meditation. A study at UCLA (I think) showed that the minimum threshold for changing your brain, also known as neuroplasticity, is a series of 4 minutes of meditation 4 times a day. I was very motivated after this workshop and I ended up setting the alarms on my cell phone to go off 4x/day so that I would actually practice four 4 minute meditation sessions. Then life threw us a huge curve ball in December and I had to turn off the alarms. I haven't gotten back to it... until now. There. Alarms set.
Week 28
Mantra | Connect to Your Breath
Action | Stop & Breathe 4x/day for 4 minutes
Week 27 | Mantra: Sleep Heals | Action: Set a bedtime this week and stick to it
OK. Here's one that I overlook all the time. It's something that I always mean to do, and something that is imperative to my well-being, yet something I hadn't yet considered for the blog. Well, now is certainly the right time, given that I've barely slept since Friday and I can't think of another topic anyway. It's SLEEP. I'm going to set a bedtime for myself this week. A work-put-away, laptop-off, phone-off, lights-off bedtime. 11:11, my magic time. (This one will be tough tomorrow night when my last client ends at 10:30?!! But I am making a commitment.)
Tonight, I will be in bed by 10:10. This will be a record for earliness. (Is that a word?)
Sleep, sweet sleep.
Week 27
Mantra: Sleep Heals
Action: Set a Bedtime this Week and Stick to It
Tonight, I will be in bed by 10:10. This will be a record for earliness. (Is that a word?)
Sleep, sweet sleep.
Week 27
Mantra: Sleep Heals
Action: Set a Bedtime this Week and Stick to It
Week 26 | Transform | Use a Fire Ritual to Transform Something You Want to Change
Is this the halfway point of the year of positive intention? 26 weeks!! Thanks for coming along on this journey. Let me know how you're doing and what you're up to with a comment!
I blew it last week and never made time to post. Brian's mom came in from Oklahoma City and we were exceptionally busy transforming a messy extra floor of our temporary rental into a guest suite for her.
.....
Happy belated summer solstice! What did you do to celebrate? I gathered with the women from my therapist collective and we had a wonderful sage cleansing followed by a small fire ritual. It has been way too long since I celebrated the solstice with an actual ritual and it was soo nice! It reminds me to invite ritual into my life more often. I've left behind the part of myself that was so engrossed in women's spirituality, my inner pagan. I'm reclaiming her**!
I'm still feeling a strong sense of the summer solstice and the changing of seasons, so I want to focus on the energy of the solstice in this week's mantra and action - transformation. Fire is the element of the summer, and fire represents transformation. It's a time to look at what brings you fulfillment in life and how it can transform you to be a better person.
For a simple fire ritual, you can sit outside in the dark and light a candle. Think about some things that you want to transform and visualize sending them into the flame. {transform: to change in condition, nature, or character; convert.} Be with nature. Enjoy the moment. Absorb the abundance that is around you.
I'm looking forward to being in nature next weekend in Wisconsin. (See you there, Jamie! Can we do a fire ritual together?)
**Major aha moment here that I'll share.
I am seeing an acupuncturist who specializes in psychological concerns. She is amazing and I have had two really intense sessions with her. My first session included a terrifying and jarring vision that rocked me, but that also helped me start to reintegrate the parts of myself that my trauma severed. I expected my second session, which happened to be on the solstice, to be equally intense, and was a bit disappointed and surprised to only have a calming, centering experience on the table. But when I was done and I sat with Barb to talk about the session, she told me about a shamanic vision she'd had while I was on the table. It turns out she'd taken the intensity on herself to make it safe for me. In her vision, she and I were standing together and watching a "crazed, wild, primal version" of myself in the wilderness. This self-part was clutching an umbilical cord, dragging the baby that was on the end of it in a slight disturbing, but very protective and primal way. Barb was alarmed, but I let her know that everything was okay, that this was what was supposed to happen. We coaxed this wild part of me to sit in a tree and calm down. She then transformed into a serpent and slithered over to me, wrapped many times around my body, and then entered my body through my skin near where my liver is. (My liver that was in distress when I had HELLP, mind you.) I'm still making sense of the whole vision and the message within it, but I'm pretty sure that my inner pagan is closely related to this crazed, wild, primal version of myself, and I felt it that night when we were doing our fire ritual, but only just now clearly see this connection.
What do you make of the symbolism in this vision?
The day before my appointment Gavin had noticed an image of a snake eating its tail. I explained the symbol and we talked about it. It's the first time I'd thought of a snake in a long time. Tonight at bedtime he told me that we both have a snake that lives outside. His is yellow and mine is blue. Just coincidental? He's a very spiritual little being.
(Let me know if you want Barb's number!)
Week 26
Mantra | Transform
Action | Use a Fire Ritual to Transform Something You Want to Change
I blew it last week and never made time to post. Brian's mom came in from Oklahoma City and we were exceptionally busy transforming a messy extra floor of our temporary rental into a guest suite for her.
.....
Happy belated summer solstice! What did you do to celebrate? I gathered with the women from my therapist collective and we had a wonderful sage cleansing followed by a small fire ritual. It has been way too long since I celebrated the solstice with an actual ritual and it was soo nice! It reminds me to invite ritual into my life more often. I've left behind the part of myself that was so engrossed in women's spirituality, my inner pagan. I'm reclaiming her**!
I'm still feeling a strong sense of the summer solstice and the changing of seasons, so I want to focus on the energy of the solstice in this week's mantra and action - transformation. Fire is the element of the summer, and fire represents transformation. It's a time to look at what brings you fulfillment in life and how it can transform you to be a better person.
For a simple fire ritual, you can sit outside in the dark and light a candle. Think about some things that you want to transform and visualize sending them into the flame. {transform: to change in condition, nature, or character; convert.} Be with nature. Enjoy the moment. Absorb the abundance that is around you.
I'm looking forward to being in nature next weekend in Wisconsin. (See you there, Jamie! Can we do a fire ritual together?)
**Major aha moment here that I'll share.
I am seeing an acupuncturist who specializes in psychological concerns. She is amazing and I have had two really intense sessions with her. My first session included a terrifying and jarring vision that rocked me, but that also helped me start to reintegrate the parts of myself that my trauma severed. I expected my second session, which happened to be on the solstice, to be equally intense, and was a bit disappointed and surprised to only have a calming, centering experience on the table. But when I was done and I sat with Barb to talk about the session, she told me about a shamanic vision she'd had while I was on the table. It turns out she'd taken the intensity on herself to make it safe for me. In her vision, she and I were standing together and watching a "crazed, wild, primal version" of myself in the wilderness. This self-part was clutching an umbilical cord, dragging the baby that was on the end of it in a slight disturbing, but very protective and primal way. Barb was alarmed, but I let her know that everything was okay, that this was what was supposed to happen. We coaxed this wild part of me to sit in a tree and calm down. She then transformed into a serpent and slithered over to me, wrapped many times around my body, and then entered my body through my skin near where my liver is. (My liver that was in distress when I had HELLP, mind you.) I'm still making sense of the whole vision and the message within it, but I'm pretty sure that my inner pagan is closely related to this crazed, wild, primal version of myself, and I felt it that night when we were doing our fire ritual, but only just now clearly see this connection.
What do you make of the symbolism in this vision?
The day before my appointment Gavin had noticed an image of a snake eating its tail. I explained the symbol and we talked about it. It's the first time I'd thought of a snake in a long time. Tonight at bedtime he told me that we both have a snake that lives outside. His is yellow and mine is blue. Just coincidental? He's a very spiritual little being.
(Let me know if you want Barb's number!)
Week 26
Mantra | Transform
Action | Use a Fire Ritual to Transform Something You Want to Change
Week 24 Animation
Look at this fascinating animation about time and our orientation to it. Brian found it today, not having any idea what my post was this week, and I thought it was very appropriate to share with you all.
Week 24 | Love Where You Are | Document Your Day-to-Day Moments of Bliss
Summer is just about here. My favorite season! And we've had the warmest spring in Chicago's recorded history. I love, love, love this weather! If there's any time when I should be in love with being here, it is now. But, you see, I get struck with bouts of restlessness that strike me when I'm least expecting it. And I can't really blame it on Chicago, because I experienced this while living in San Francisco, one of the world's most beautiful and amazing cities.
Brian and I are searching for a new home right now, a process that usually triggers my longing to be elsewhere. This restlessness forms an emotionally toxic combo when paired with my basic temperament, which involves spontaneity, zig-zagging, living from moment-to-moment and feeling my way through life. It's hard for me to commit to most things for longer than about a day. (My Virgo sister is laughing out loud reading this, and my Virgo husband is probably rolling his eyes. Lovingly.)
Anyway, I am struggling hard right now with my restless sense and yearning for vague something elses. I do think that part of my healing from my traumatic HELLP experience, as well as my continued adjustment to the rigidity involved with raising a young child, requires that I just sit still and look for the happiness that is all around me, instead of focusing on the something elses. The happiness that is all around me goes with me wherever I go, and I know that. So this week's focus is on the happy day-to-days that exist wherever I am in time and space, like Gavin just walking up to me to show me the squirrel sticker on his toe. This week I'm going to take photos of things otherwise ignored that happen every day. If I get around to it, I'll post some here.
Thanks for reading!
Week 24
Mantra | Love Where You Are
Action | Document Your Day-to-Day Moments of Bliss
Brian and I are searching for a new home right now, a process that usually triggers my longing to be elsewhere. This restlessness forms an emotionally toxic combo when paired with my basic temperament, which involves spontaneity, zig-zagging, living from moment-to-moment and feeling my way through life. It's hard for me to commit to most things for longer than about a day. (My Virgo sister is laughing out loud reading this, and my Virgo husband is probably rolling his eyes. Lovingly.)
Anyway, I am struggling hard right now with my restless sense and yearning for vague something elses. I do think that part of my healing from my traumatic HELLP experience, as well as my continued adjustment to the rigidity involved with raising a young child, requires that I just sit still and look for the happiness that is all around me, instead of focusing on the something elses. The happiness that is all around me goes with me wherever I go, and I know that. So this week's focus is on the happy day-to-days that exist wherever I am in time and space, like Gavin just walking up to me to show me the squirrel sticker on his toe. This week I'm going to take photos of things otherwise ignored that happen every day. If I get around to it, I'll post some here.
Thanks for reading!
Week 24
Mantra | Love Where You Are
Action | Document Your Day-to-Day Moments of Bliss
Week 23 | Make Someone Happy | Do one thing a day to make another person feel happy
Thanks to Bree for this week's inspiration. "Make someone happy." For those who don't know, Bree is my childhood best friend. You may have read about her in the post from Week 21. We met in 4th grade when we started a new school together. It means the world to me that we've stayed in touch over the years, in spite of different high schools, universities, cities, lives... She was just here in Illinois two weeks ago and made the incredible effort of taking the train into the city, not once, but twice to see us and meet Gavin for the first time. Bree and I played sports both together and against each other :( so it was really special that Gavin's first time "playing baseball" was with her. You can watch the video here. She sent an email today that included all kinds of daily actions for conscious living, which is where I got this idea for this week. Plus, she always makes me happy. :)
Week 23
Mantra | Make Someone Happy.
Action | Do one thing a day just to make another person feel happy.
(And sorry for skipping a week last week. I wrote a check for $40 to the over the weekend to make up for the weeks I've skipped or haven't completed my action.)
Week 23
Mantra | Make Someone Happy.
Action | Do one thing a day just to make another person feel happy.
(And sorry for skipping a week last week. I wrote a check for $40 to the over the weekend to make up for the weeks I've skipped or haven't completed my action.)
Week 21 | Be Grateful | Notice and write down one thing every day that you're grateful for
Week 20 was good. Did you do one thing you've been meaning to? Brian got me a journal and Sharpies for Christmas and I had only drawn in it once! I got that out the other night and it was so great to lose myself in drawing, something that I need and just don't do. Ever. I also did some charitable giving that I've been meaning to do. Felt good.
This past Sunday was the Promise Walk to raise money and awareness for the Preeclampsia Foundation. After the battle to get a two year old dressed and agreeably in the car seat and a drive to Hyde Park, we were 45 minutes late for the walk. We were also juggling a simultaneous visit with my childhood best friend, Bree, who was in town from Oakland. I hadn't seen her since I was 37 weeks pregnant, about the same time I was starting to get sick. It was a wonderful thing to hug her, and to watch her playing with my son, and to be able to look around and see the smiling faces of all of the children who survived preeclampsia. But there wasn't much time to be alone with my feelings. It was easy to do what I so often have to do - block out the memory of what happened to us in order to just keep living. At one point, I was walking along the path on my own, and I finally let myself just be. And I looked around at all of the women and families and children. I made eye contact with some of the women whose stories I know. I let myself feel the sadness and the fear and the anger that goes along with what we've all experienced. I cried under my sunglasses for a little while, then put on a smile and helped my son climb a tree. Life moves on.
But I've been thinking about gratitude a lot. I do feel grateful a lot of the time, but I would like to be more conscious about it. So this will be a week for gratitude.
Week 21
Mantra | Be Grateful
Action | Notice and write down one thing every day that you're grateful for
This past Sunday was the Promise Walk to raise money and awareness for the Preeclampsia Foundation. After the battle to get a two year old dressed and agreeably in the car seat and a drive to Hyde Park, we were 45 minutes late for the walk. We were also juggling a simultaneous visit with my childhood best friend, Bree, who was in town from Oakland. I hadn't seen her since I was 37 weeks pregnant, about the same time I was starting to get sick. It was a wonderful thing to hug her, and to watch her playing with my son, and to be able to look around and see the smiling faces of all of the children who survived preeclampsia. But there wasn't much time to be alone with my feelings. It was easy to do what I so often have to do - block out the memory of what happened to us in order to just keep living. At one point, I was walking along the path on my own, and I finally let myself just be. And I looked around at all of the women and families and children. I made eye contact with some of the women whose stories I know. I let myself feel the sadness and the fear and the anger that goes along with what we've all experienced. I cried under my sunglasses for a little while, then put on a smile and helped my son climb a tree. Life moves on.
But I've been thinking about gratitude a lot. I do feel grateful a lot of the time, but I would like to be more conscious about it. So this will be a week for gratitude.
Week 21
Mantra | Be Grateful
Action | Notice and write down one thing every day that you're grateful for
Week 20 | It's Never Too Late | Do One Thing You've Been Meaning To Do
I have really been trying to post every week by Monday night. Here it is Wednesday night, almost Thursday morning. So .. let's see. What makes sense?
Week 20
Mantra | It's Never Too Late
Action | Do One Thing You've Been Meaning to Do
Week 20
Mantra | It's Never Too Late
Action | Do One Thing You've Been Meaning to Do
Week 19 | Let Your Radiance Shine | Practice Random Acts of Sunshine
This post is a little belated. Sorry!
Boy, last week's action was a challenge! I was not able to go one day without a complaint. I will keep working on it. Instead of the purple bracelet that Will Bowen recommends, I'm using a ring that I switch between fingers every time I complain. It's a great tool! I actually went one day with only two complaints. I'll let you know if I make it one whole complaint-free day! Did anyone else try it?
Part of why I am late in my posting this week is because I haven't been inspired with a mantra like I usually am. Until this morning. Lately, it's been very gray and cloudy in Chicago. I tend to be very affected by the weather, especially gray skies. When I was drinking my tea this morning I noticed that the paper attached to the tea bag string had a message. It said, "Let people bask in your radiance and sunshine." It instantly made the gray skies seem less drab. It also reminded me of the many talks my mom had with me as a kid about stopping my negative energy and letting my radiance shine. So, here we go!
Week 19
Mantra | Let Your Radiance Shine
Action | Practice random acts of sunshine
Boy, last week's action was a challenge! I was not able to go one day without a complaint. I will keep working on it. Instead of the purple bracelet that Will Bowen recommends, I'm using a ring that I switch between fingers every time I complain. It's a great tool! I actually went one day with only two complaints. I'll let you know if I make it one whole complaint-free day! Did anyone else try it?
Part of why I am late in my posting this week is because I haven't been inspired with a mantra like I usually am. Until this morning. Lately, it's been very gray and cloudy in Chicago. I tend to be very affected by the weather, especially gray skies. When I was drinking my tea this morning I noticed that the paper attached to the tea bag string had a message. It said, "Let people bask in your radiance and sunshine." It instantly made the gray skies seem less drab. It also reminded me of the many talks my mom had with me as a kid about stopping my negative energy and letting my radiance shine. So, here we go!
Week 19
Mantra | Let Your Radiance Shine
Action | Practice random acts of sunshine
Week 18 | Stop Complaining | Offer Solutions Instead of Grievances
OK. I took more than one thing off my list last week and it felt great! That was a good one.
Last Thursday night, Bri and I got a sitter and went on a date! We went to Flourish Studios (where I started my practice) and saw Will Bowen speak about his Complaint Free World Movement. First of all, let me say that I am grateful for having a husband willing to spend date night at such an event! We left feeling inspired to be more positive and to try the challenge to stop complaining.
It is really hard. (By the way, statements of fact are not complaints.)
Week 18
Mantra | Stop Complaining
Action | Offer Solutions Instead of Grievances
Last Thursday night, Bri and I got a sitter and went on a date! We went to Flourish Studios (where I started my practice) and saw Will Bowen speak about his Complaint Free World Movement. First of all, let me say that I am grateful for having a husband willing to spend date night at such an event! We left feeling inspired to be more positive and to try the challenge to stop complaining.
It is really hard. (By the way, statements of fact are not complaints.)
Week 18
Mantra | Stop Complaining
Action | Offer Solutions Instead of Grievances
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